i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
