that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
