I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
