Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
