Fuck appropriateness.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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