God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
