We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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