wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
