Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
