I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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