So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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