I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
