I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize