I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
