out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
