whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
