I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
