Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
