You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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