so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
