worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
