I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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