i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So many bounce houses so little time
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
