Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
