I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You've changed since you got that strap on
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
