Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
