I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
