dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize