Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
