miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
whose parrot is this?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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