is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Your shirt... Was in my pants
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
