ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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