You're so nebulous sometimes
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
