he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
