D3 body, D1 cock
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My nipple is on Facebook.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
