youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
