'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
