Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
