i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
