what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
