My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
