Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
