Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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