And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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