Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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