I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
