K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
