Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
