I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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