guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
