Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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