We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
