My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
