bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
