I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
cat food counts as protein by the way
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
