We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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