Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
