Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize