Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
