Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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