Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
