This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
