Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
