come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
