Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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