Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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