Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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