Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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