yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
