Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
