member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Did I show you my penis last night?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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