brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
