I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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