I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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