Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
