You're a womanizer and a bitch.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
