Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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